The Steamlands Version 1.02 appearance of the Valentine
Type Cannon
Grid spaces 3
No upgrade Upgraded
Health 450 495
Damage 30 ?
Reload Medium Slow Faster
The above content only applies to Steamlands.

Valentine is a cut gun in Steamlands. Valentine was not included in the main mode of Steamlands, and was cut judging from the descriptions of the upgrades which were also cut.


The Valentine has two appearances: the appearance seen the first update of the game and the the appearance seen in the second version.

First Update Version

The Valentine seen in the first update consisted of a base with a green circle made to like a sphere of a dark green metal with the chain on top.

Second Update Version

The second version, seen in the second update, has a base exactly the same as the North Star.

The base is flat on the sides and slopes up in the middle, two pipes below a dial can be seen on the sloping up part of the base. Behind the base is a fence like structure. At the top of the base is the Red light for the gun, and attached to the top of the base is a gold cylindrical objects which is below ball with two claws on it.

The only difference of this version of the Valentine and the North Star has is that the base of Valentine is darker than the base of the North Star, Valentine's base has gold lines down the bottom while the the North Star has grey, and of course the gun.

Game Information

Both versions of the Valentine act the same. The Valentine acts very different from other guns, as instead of firing bullets the chain on the Valentine gun will grab whatever it was aimed at off the enemy's tank, bringing the object to the ground, giving the player the ability to add it to there tank.

The Valentine cannot be classified as a gun since it fires no bullets. The Valentine can pull off all blocks attached to an enemy tank, even Man Blocks.

If the player is being attacked by a Man Block or wants to rid the enemy tank of the Man Block's advantages, pulling the block off will end them. Saboteur Jumpmasters can also be pulled off. Every block and gun can be pulled, except for the Engine Room.

The Valentine will instead deal damage to the Engine Room, subtracting 30 health points per hit. The Valentine can only be found in Dev Mode in the block palette. The Valentine starts off with 450 health, and can be upgraded to 495 health through the purchase of Valentine Health 1, which can only be purchased if the player puts the item in the Shop.

Valentine Shop Items

Valentine Damage 1 Valentine Health 1 Valentine Reload 1
Image: V1 V2 V3
Price: £15000** £15000** £15000**
Tag: Damage Health Reload
Result: Increases damage Health increases to 495 Valentine fires faster
Description: This item isn't in the original game. So I haven't so I haven't written a description of this upgrade. Sorry * This item isn't in the original game. So I haven't so I haven't written a description of this upgrade. Sorry * This item isn't in the original game. So I haven't so I haven't written a description of this upgrade. Sorry *
Level: None None None

* - written by Aaron Steed
** - Price was originally £40000 in Version 1.01


  • For unknown reasons, the Valentine was given a new look in Version 1.02, and had the price of the upgrades reduced from ₤40000 to ₤15000. The new look made it look a lot like the North Star.
  • The Valentine is a reference to Dirk Valentine's chain cannon. Unlike Dirk's Chain Cannon, the Valentine pulls blocks off instead of making bridges.
  • It is not known why the Valentine was cut. It is possible it was cut due to time constraints, or was just added as a joke. Shop items exist for it, so the last one is probably false.
  • The Valentine cannot really be classified as a gun, as it fires to bullets. It, however, has the appearance of a gun.
  • Although a damage upgrade exists for the Valentine, the only time it can damage anything is by attacking the Engine Room of the enemy, as the Engine Room cannot be moved at all by the enemy.

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