As soon as summer break began, I was eager to start editing fully again. I thought summer would mean more freedom, more time to do things I like, but it seems as though these plans have hit a major roadblock.

I have discovered (well, this was a while back when I first announced a leave) that everyone in my family doesn't approve of my editing here. When my parents talk about how much time we spend on the computer, my siblings usually take initiative to use me as an excuse for their times spent on the computer.

I suppose they are right. Wiki editing does take a lot of time, even if my contributions don't show much during certain times of the day. Selfishly, I guess you could suppose, I really wanted to up my edit count of 16,824 this summer, and help fix up and add missing content. I also enjoyed spending time in chat, admittedly, keeping other users company while they do the same. A time waster, sometimes, but it has also been the start of various ideas to help the Wiki and it is also a great way to get instant help rather than waiting it out on a talk page.

The problem this summer lies in two situations. The first is summer school. While I have been keeping up with the work and have done pretty well in it so far, I am positive that the course is going to get more intense, which means more time needs to be spent studying. That, however, isn't the primary problem.

In August, I will go for a piano exam. And it isn't just any exam. It's the one that determines whether I finish all my piano lessons, or am bound to it for another three months or so. My parents want me to practise, and while I do, I find myself getting distracted about how my contributions on the Wiki might not be "good enough" for an admin and that I would end up allowing all users to simply trample over them all. I guess I...ended up giving up a lot of my practice time to be on the Wiki more. And now it's going to ruin me if I keep this up, which I partially have, as both my iPod and laptop have been taken away without warning.

If you think I was writing this blog post for sympathy, no, absolutely not. I need help, though, and I've run out of ideas on how to solve this. Admittedly, I just wanted to help out NOBODY so that he would stop complaining about how users here don't help out, and that our articles are still bad. However, this means editing more, and editing more means more time taken out of my life, and I don't think I can keep this up much longer.

I suppose I got a lucky break this week, as my family was mostly in and out of the house and despite them taking away my laptop, I was able to spend more time on the Wiki on the old family computers. I don't think this will last much longer, though, as the more time I spend trying to land some good edits here, the more lecturing I'll hear about how I'm throwing away my future and that "I'm not getting paid for this and it will all mean nothing soon enough" business.

The problem lies in the fact that I like being on the Wiki so much, I spend a lot of time here. I need to find something, a reason, maybe, that will stop me from editing or at least thinking of ways to solve the Wiki's problems (yeah, I worry too much about unnecessary things).

It's complicated, I know. Maybe I'll just spend my time trying to tell myself I'm a useless editor here and I could just wither away from depression after all those edits for nothing.

Sorry for all the sentimental writing here, but I have had this in my mind for a long time, and it's really bothering me.

Secretly, I'm also hoping to get my iPod back in time for Ice Breaker iOS. I'm eager to play it, but now that I can't, it will be disappointing for me to see it come out soon. Well, I'll still be happy for its release, don't get me wrong, but I will not be able to help but feel disappointed to miss the rush of excitement when the game is released to the app store.

Well, that's all for now.


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