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Hi all! Seeing as this was far to trivial important to go on the front page, I decided to share this time-wasting breaking news with the Nitrome Wiki community.

Apparently from this tweet[1], a plastic plant has mysteriously invaded the Nitrome office which Aron Steed deduced as trying to disguise the office as a cheap restaurant! Using my absolutely intelligent, unbiased, and factual intuition, aka hyped, unfounded, speculation that is obviously not true, we can doubt conclude that some nefarious, Austin Carter and Justin Bennet or Chimps working on peanuts perhaps, person/s have sent this plastic plant, actually a mind control device, to brain wash Nitrome into being a cheap restaurant! AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT besides overuse of all caps to indicate senseless screaming? Not because you are all dimwits you know I'm just being polite about this right?, I will give you a simple equations for your teeny, tiny brains: Nitrome + Restaurant vision = No games + purchasable food which is NOT, NOT, absolutely NOT f-r-e-e!.

But wait, there's more! MORE MORE MORE MORE MORRREEEEERERERERE! I can't stress that enough! MORE!

From this tweet[2], Aron Steed has learned that this plastic plant is for a Nitrome employee's home. Of course we know what that means RIGHT? Amiright? A Nitrome employee has misidentified his/her might as well add and/or/pork/chicken since society can't get their genders to be straight LOL home as being the Nitrome office which of course cannot be that they have temporarily stored it at the Nitrome office and are going to move it to their home.

Does that mean that masterpiece of a plastic plant is not an mind control device? OF COURSE NOT! And don't even think I'm being dramatic! It means that this is definitely a mind control device hidden in the Nitrome office under the protection of belonging to a Nitrome employee so that is can make them work like a restaurant to make their fans PAY for FOOD! They will no doubt be so disillusioned to not even accept Canadian 0$ used primarily to pay for FREE games! This will thus result in Nitrome seeing Canadians as a hassle! They will eventually dislike Canadians so much they will seek to get rid of them!

But how can you get rid of Canadians? Even writing their names in a death note in the next six minutes and fourty seconds so that they die of heart attacks wont work which is obviously factual information and not from a silly little manga my stupid sis likes to read instead of editing MY wiki. What will they do? They will call in the Rubble Trouble crew and knock all those Canadians down resulting in Canadians unable to get up even with help from spinach-induced maple syrup and beavers!

But do not fear, Nitrome Wiki community, Aron Steed will throw out the plant and nothing so disastrous and completely illogical will ever happen. At least, that was what I wanted to say.

From this tweet[3] it is clear that Aron Steed has been brain washed to see opening a restaurant as a GOOD thing! NO! There goes the fate of Nitrome! We are now going to be a wiki about a retail chain that charges MONEY!

What can you do to help? Send Nitrome a message about when is Super Feed Me coming out not like they haven't gotten asked that irksome question billions of times to remind them "Your are a GAME company! Not a restaurant!". With billions of messages we will definitely tick of Nitrome so that they hate their fans save Nitrome from this restaurant doom!

THE FATE IS IN YOUR HANDS! Tell everyone, "That plant is a MIND CONTROL device!".

References

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